Team Alpha 375

Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...

• Your last name stays put.

• The garage is all yours.

• Wedding plans take care of themselves.

• Chocolate is just another snack.

• You can be President. You can never be pregnant.

• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

• Car Mechanics tell you the truth.

• The world is your urinal.

• You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

• You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

• Same work, more pay.

• Wrinkles add character.

• Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

• People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

• New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

• One mood all the time.

• Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.

• You know stuff about tanks.

• A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

• You can open all of your own jars.

• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

• You never have strap problems in public.

• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

• Everything on your face stays its original color.

• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.

• You only have to shave your face and neck.

• You can play with toys all your life.

• Your belly usually hides your big hips.

• One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

• You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

• You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!