How "real" is your life?
Would you say you're a pretty honest person? Of course you would! After all, most of us don't go around making up stories or blatantly lying to a person's face. But, what about the little white lies we tell? Or, omitting details? Or withholding information? Or, not sharing our true opinions? Or, going with the crowd instead of speaking up? Or, trying to act a certain way because we want people to like us? Or, ignoring a situation instead of facing it?
When we start really examining the areas of our lives when we're not telling "the whole truth", it can add up. The truth is, we all fall short of absolute honesty. And, it's not because we're bad people, or have bad intentions. Most of the time, we're just scared of letting people see and hear our real selves. It's scary stuff. What if I show my "real" self to people? They might run away in horror! Or, at least, not agree with me, or think badly of me, which can seem scary too.
So, while it's normal to try to protect ourselves from truths that might be uncomfortable or hard to deal with, the farther we get from being true, authentic, and honest, the more we hurt ourselves. Think about how it feels to compromise your values or opinions. Or, how it feels to let someone else call the shots when you don't speak up. After a while, your life might feel like one big theatre production, where every day you put on the costume, the wig, the makeup, and speak the lines someone else wrote. It gets tiring and draining after a while, doesn't it?
If you want to bring more truth and authenticity in your life, start by observing where you don't have it. Is it around a certain individual, or certain types of people? In what kind of situations does it show up? Big groups or intimate conversations? Around certain subjects or topics?
And once you start noticing when it happens, stop and think. Instead of going to the old default reaction, ask yourself what the "real you" would do, if there wasn't any fear present. And do it. Once you start seeing that people really don't go running in horror, it gets easier. Once you feel the deeper connection you make with people because they can see the real you, it will be even easier. And, when you are regularly experiencing the power and freedom that comes with truth, you'll never go back to those old habits!
An example from my own life was my realization that I often tried to hide my vulnerability. So, when things were tough or I didn't have answers, I sometimes put on a brave face so I would look like I had it all together. And, I was reluctant to ask others for help, for fear of appearing weak. So, there I was, not taking advantage of other people's ideas, resources, or support just to show how strong I was! Pretty silly, but that's the kind of stuff we do, isn't it? So, I made a commitment to myself: share honestly and ask for help. I've enjoyed a lot of deeper connections, and greater support over the past year with this approach. And, it feels like a lot less work!
So, how can you be more authentic and true to yourself this month? Where can you speak up? What can you admit? What is it that you'd like to come clean about, even if just to yourself? Look for small examples every day where you can express yourself more honestly. Just as the little white lies add up, so do the little moments of truth!
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