Team Alpha 375

Coming To Grips With "The Gap"

By Dan Sullivan

Some people look toward the future and feel a rush of inspiration and excitement. Others look forward and feel guilty, anxious, dissatisfied, or paralyzed by perfectionism: They never feel like they've done quite enough or achieved everything they should have. These feelings drive them to be hard on themselves – and on others around them.

Even the most successful people can be demanding and critical of themselves. Why is that? The answer lies in the way the human brain works, which makes us all susceptible to a kind of negative self-evaluation I call "The Gap." It's often especially evident among people who have big ambitions, like entrepreneurs. In this article, we'll give you a handle on what The Gap is and show you how you can get out of The Gap once you recognize that you're in it.

Ideals, goals, and the actual.
Lets start by examining some structures that exist in all of our minds. As humans, we have the ability to conceive of perfection–the ideal–in any situation. An ideal is like the horizon: Even though you move in its direction, it always seems to be just as far away. Just like the horizon, ideals are mental constructs. Rather than relating to them as attainable, the best way to treat the ideal is as an infinite source of inspiration for creating goals.

Goals, on the other hand, are more concrete and measurable. Goals require that you look at where you actually are now, then set measurable objectives for where you'd like to be in the future. When you get to that point, you can look back and identify exactly how much progress you've made.

Definition of The Gap.
The Gap is the permanent distance between the ideal and the actual. When you're in The Gap, it's because you're measuring your progress against an ideal that is, by nature, unattainable, instead of looking back to where you started and comparing that to where you are now.

Achieving your goals gives you the opportunity to learn, to grow, and to celebrate. People fixated on ideals seldom find reasons to celebrate; they're too busy making demands of themselves to stop and acknowledge the progress they've made. They may feel that the constant pursuit of ideals keeps them in motion, but what they're missing out on is any enjoyment of their accomplishments and the opportunity to use these wins as a platform for increased confidence and capability.

Uses of ideals.
Ideals do serve a vital function. They can inspire us to create big goals, help us endure hard times, and lift us from our everyday perspective so we can glimpse the big picture. They're indispensable – as long as we recognize them for what they are.

In working with your future as a tool, use the ideal as a beacon to show you the direction, but be sure to honestly acknowledge where you are now and translate your ideals into workable, attainable goals.

Your get-out-of-The-Gap-free card.
If you find yourself feeling stuck, unable to take action, you might be in The Gap. The way to free yourself is to shift your focus from perfection to the progress you've already achieved.

Here's where your past is a valuable resource: Set aside some regular time for yourself, perhaps at the beginning of the week, and write down your 10 biggest achievements from the past week, along with what makes them significant to you.

You might be surprised at how much you've accomplished, and you'll be able to see what you can do next to continue this progress. Now is always the time to enjoy your success!