by: Eddy Mayen
I have a great friend by the name of Sergeant Joe Delusant who is currently somewhere in Afghanistan with the US Army. We have been the best of friends for over 25 years. We grew up together, went to college together, and even served together in the military. Joe chose to make the military his full-time career.
Growing up, Joe and I were inseparable. He enjoyed coming to my house to hear my family speak Spanish. He found it interesting how my brothers and I could go back and forth between Spanish and English while having one conversation.
In the beginning, I served as an interpreter for him, but Joe was genuinely interested in learning Spanish, so he would stay over for hours practicing with my mom and dad. It was no surprise that before long, Joe was able to communicate with great accuracy.
The only time Joe and I would separate was when he went home at the end of the day. The mystery was that for years, Joe would never invite me inside his house. At first it was no big deal, but after a while I began to think there was something wrong.
So, like any fearless teenager, I decided to confront Joe. Imagine my surprise when, that afternoon after football practice, he invited me inside his home to get something to drink and meet his parents.
As we walked in the house, both of his parents were in the living room watching TV. I remember this clearly, because the volume on the TV was up really high. Suddenly, Joe gently begins to stomp his feet on the carpet as if he were putting out a cigarette. Instantly, both his parents turn to us, jump up, and say hello. I could tell that they were as surprised about meeting me as I was about meeting them.
With perfection, Joe begins to use sign language to communicate and introduce me as his friend from school. Joe’s parents were hearing impaired.
I was frozen and did not know what to say. After all, what could I say that they could hear? Speechless, I simply waved hello and followed Joe into the kitchen.
In the kitchen I said to Joe, “Wow! I had no idea your parents were deaf. How long have they been deaf?” Out of nowhere, from the other room, Joe’s father replies to me, “All my life.”
Again I was frozen, but this time I was also puzzled. I looked at Joe, then his father, and then back at Joe and jokingly asked, “I thought you said your father was deaf?”
Joe replied, “He is, but he can read you lips.”
I had just learned the most powerful lesson of my fifteen-year-old life. This moment would change me forever. I realized that no matter what language you speak, you can only HEAR with your ears -- but we LISTEN with our eyes, our mind, and our hearts. I now understood how Joe had been listening to us all along and why his learning curve was so short.
The amazing part for me is that I learned how to listen from someone who had never heard a sound. Joe’s father, to this day, has never heard his own voice, or the voice of his three sons, or the cries and laughter of his four grandchildren. I realized that many people can hear, but everyone has the ability to listen.
My question to you is this -- Are you just HEARING your customer talk or are you LISTENING for his buying signals? HEARING will help you make a sale and gain you another satisfied customer; but LISTENING will make you a fortune by creating loyal customers.
Want to show people you are LISTENING? Try this:
1. Always turn and face the person who is speaking to you. It will force you to make eye contact and let them know that you are paying attention. Whether it is a 2 year-old or an 80 year-old person, there is nothing worse to them than talking to the side of someone’s face while the other person stares at something else.
2. Never take a call or text when you are speaking to a customer. It's simple, but it amazes me how many people do this. You will be surprised how many people will follow your lead and return the gesture by restraining themselves from taking calls during your meeting.
3. Concentrate on “listening” instead of just “hearing” when meeting with customers. The TV show Frasier would always start with Dr. Crane saying, “Good Evening Seattle, I’m listening”. Hearing is a passive activity -- you rarely pay attention to every sound you hear throughout the day. However, listening requires action and it implies mental, physical, and emotional involvement.
4. Practice “listening” a little each day. A fun way to practice is listening to music. Pick a different song each day and go beyond the beat. Listen for all the lyrics and different instruments used. You will quickly develop a keen ear for listening.
Want to live a better life? Try applying your new listening skills to everyone around you, not just customers. Your family, friends, and co-workers will appreciate you more.
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