UNLESS YOU ARE AN ARMY OFFICER, YOU CAN GET BETTER RESULTS BY REQUESTS THAN YOU CAN BY ORDERS.

Armies spend endless hours training people to follow orders without question. It's an essential quality in a soldier. In everyday life, however, things don't work that way. Business, political, and civic leaders have learned that ordinary people will perform exceptional tasks when they are asked-not ordered-to do so. Even when you are managing other people, you will achieve far more if you convert every order to a request. Introductory phrases such as, "Would you mind . . ." or "Could I ask your assistance in . . ." or the always effective "Please . . ." will ensure success far more often than intimidating those who work for you. And when you need help from those whose paychecks you do not control, you will find them far more responsive to requests than to orders.

Beware of These Classic Mistakes when Asking for Referrals

By: Colleen Francis

Referrals can be really powerful selling tools when used correctly and as part of a formalized plan. However, there's a right way and a wrong way to ask for referrals. Too often, salespeople commit classic mistakes in asking for them and assume, based on their disappointing results, that referrals might simply not be worth all the effort. Referrals do work. Working with our own clients, we've seen closing ratios on sales calls tighten dramatically when referrals are incorporated into the sales script...some as much as obtaining one sale out every three sales calls placed.

Referrals have the potential to connect you to new customers through a network built on trust and familiarity. That means there's more on the line than just your own reputation: the person doing the referring has to first be sure they are doing the right thing by recommending you, your products or your services with others.

Let's look at what you can do to avoid the classic mistakes when asking for referrals.

Don't ask too soon. The worst time to ask for a referral is when you're still at the point-of-sale stage in the sales cycle. If the ink isn't even dry on the deal that your customer has signed with you, odds are good that they haven't yet had the chance to fully try your product or service and form an opinion. Success in sales is about building and maintaining relationships. Making the sale is just the start of that relationship. In a sense, it's a relationship that is much like a marriage—a lot of work needs to be done to keep that relationship working well.

Give your customers time. Don't ask for a referral until you've earned it. While it's acceptable to ask after a product has been delivered or installed and the client has told you they are satisfied, I still think there's a better approach. Use the request for referral as a means of adding value to the customer's buying experience. There's a lot to be gained by going the extra mile and being creative, persistent and value-driven in your request.

All business is personal. People refer business to you not for business reasons, but for personal reasons. That is why a request for a referral from one of your clients can only come from you. The service you provide is professional, but when a customer recommends that service to someone they know, it then becomes a very personal act. It demonstrates a high level of trust that someone has in you...and that's not to be taken lightly. Therefore, it's important that any referral program you develop is based on the idea that you value your customers as people first—not as revenue centers.

Remember to show your thanks. Forgetting to say thank you is a big mistake...so big that it's cringe-worthy. Think about it for a moment. If a client makes the decision that you've earned that referral you've been hoping for, and you miss the opportunity to thank them for that gesture, you risk shutting off that referral pipeline...maybe even permanently.

When it comes to referrals, there are two instances where a thank you is in order. First, you ought to thank your client when they refer you to a friend or colleague. Send a card to express your appreciation. An email message is simply not enough. A card is personal and it sits in someone's hand, making it memorable in a way that email simply can never be. The second instance for thanks is when that new referral buys from you. Again, sending a thank-you card is a nice touch. Include a small gift as well, but only if the customer is able to accept it (some organizations, including government, have a no-gift rule). A small token of thanks can be as simple as a gift card for coffee from the local Starbucks, or even a donation to the client's annual golf tournament. The key is to make a gesture that says: "I really appreciate you thinking of me."

Be persistent, but don't overdo it. There is a fine line between persistence...and stalking. When you initiate a referral program, it's important that you be judicious in how often you reach out to your existing customers. Once every 30 days is a good rule of thumb. If you hold off much longer than that (for example, once every business quarter), it's too easy to lose that top-of-mind position in the marketplace. On the other hand, if you try sending tokens of appreciate to a client once a week, you definitely will run the risk of being perceived as stalking.

Be specific and a resource. Implementing an effective referral program includes asking your customers if they know someone who could benefit from the products or services you are selling. However, it's important that you be specific. For instance, you could ask: "Are you the only one in your department that uses this service?" If there are others who do, in fact, use your services, then those are the people you want to meet, and your existing customer is ideally positioned to make that happen.

Give More. Get More. by: Dan Jourdan There is something magical that goes on in this world. It is some powerful law of nature that we all know, but can’t see. It’s the formula that the cycle of giving comes back to you tenfold. Simple math would tell you then, that if you want to succeed in business, look at whatever you are providing to your customer and give more. Give more than you reasonably should. More than your competitors -- and more than your customers expect. At this point you become more than a supplier…you become an indispensable asset, a resource. You become a friend and an ally. How many of you have a friend you can call at two in the morning to pick you up from the airport? Most of you will have someone. Are you that person for someone else? Can you be counted on for anything or everything? I have a friend, Bill, who would stop the world to help me for anything. The funny thing is that he does this for everyone. He has made a career out of it. One time when I was preparing for a trip, I asked if I could borrow a cooler. He gave me one… but it was filled with food and even the ice packs to keep things cool. He calls his neighbors when he is having renovations done to the house and has a dumpster in his driveway so his neighbors can use it while it's there. When Bill got sick, he had many friends who left work early to mow his lawn, bring him food, and stay on call while he was hospitalized. His illness has revealed how his life's work of giving has paid off in tangible ways by the love and affection of so many. People are fighting to be in the front of the line to care for this man. Would that be the case with you and your customers? Here are five things you can do to increase your power through giving: 1. Take time to think about the needs and wants of the other person or customer. That doesn’t mean ten seconds before you walk into your customers office -- but actually set aside time to think. Think as if their success would impact yours…because it does. 2. Put yourself in others’ shoes. Sympathy is useless...empathy gets results. This means to really put yourself in the place of your customer and imagine what you would want if you were in his situation. Play this game for every customer and results will become evident quickly. 3. Come up with solutions, not excuses. Never has a statue been raised for a really good excuse maker. Excuse makers are reviled and avoided at all costs. Your value will be based on what you bring to the table. Bring solutions and you will be invited to stay at the table forever. 4. Recruit assistance. Here’s the thing; people love to help if you simply give them some credit. In fact, give them all the credit for your success. They will brag about how they knew you when, and how you would be nothing without them. (Which is good… because that means that you are something with them.) 5. Take action! This entire plan means nothing if you are still on your couch watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island. The secret to remember is that underneath the title on a business card is a person. A real person that just like you fell off his bicycle when he was four and a half, and needed someone to help him get back up so he could learn for himself how to ride. Your job is to always be on the lookout for people who may be falling down. Give help and assistance -- more than you think you should -- and you will receive more than you think you deserve. Every time.

Barry Moltz: Thanks for your holiday card for my business, but . . .

I love the holidays. It’s the only time of year when we always wish other people well with a hearty “Happy Holidays” or “Happy New Year.” Business people send lots greeting cards through the mail or now through e-mail. What I don’t get is why some people bother to send me cards at all.

Don’t get me wrong, I love getting this type of mail, but how does it make sense that the only time I hear from some business associates is in December through a holiday card?

Business is about establishing trustful relationships over a long period of time. This is how every business gets new customers and referrals. How can I develop a relationship if you only contact me through the obligatory mass-mailing holiday card activity (or maybe a robotic “Happy Birthday” greeting on Facebook)? It’s nice that I am still on your mailing list from five years ago, but this is not what I had in mind when we met.

If you want to form a relationship where we have either a possibility to do business together or increase the likelihood of me referring your company, follow these steps:

1. Mark on your calendar at least two other times of the year that you will reach out and contact me. This can be through e-mail, a phone call or a short note. Realize that address labels can be printed other times of the year besides December. Mention something I might find valuable as a resource for my business and I will remember you.

2. If you have to send me a holiday card, make it at Thanksgiving. There is a lot less competition for my attention.

3. If you do send me a “Happy Holiday” card in December, at least write my name inside the card. Printing out an address label and having someone stick it on an envelope does not help build a relationship with me. Take that one extra step and go to my company website to try to find something for a bit of personalization.

If you are not willing to at least do this, then forget about me next year. Take me off your list. You will make more profit for your business by saving the cost of the stamp.

What day are you celebrating and why?

January 1st is always a big deal.

It’s a celebration of the new and of being grateful for, thankful for, or washing out the old. It’s a day of celebration, a day of football, a day of hangover recovery, a day of New Year’s resolutions, and a day of your strongest intentions to do more, do less, and do better.

And then there is January 2nd. It’s not as significant as January 1st or February 1st. Or is it?

There are several major (predictable) days of emotion, celebration, and reflection in each year. And there are some special days that pop up like the birth of a child, a monumental sale, or a surprise visit from an old friend or relative (that you were happy to see).

Your birthday is the easiest one to identify, with significant other people’s (spouse, children, extended family members) birthdays and anniversaries close behind. Birthday celebrations and remembrances are both for the living and the dead. They are especially emotional if a parent, sibling, or close friend has passed on.

Emotional holidays both real and contrived like Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo, 4th of July, and of course the big two Christmas and New Years. There are other holidays that may affect you personally, not so much to celebrate but to remember, such as Martin Luther King Day, Veterans Day, even Flag Day.

The reason I’m challenging you to think about these days is that they tend to be emotional and inspirational in one way or another.

And my thought this morning was: Why aren’t all days like that?

Think about the celebration, the emotion, the determination, the resolve, and the intention that you have on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. If you could replicate that 364 times each day you wake up this year, you could conquer the world (or at least your customers and prospects).

My new year’s challenge to you is to better understand where your emotional drivers come from, document them, define them, harness their power, and repeat them each day as you get ready to conquer your world.

On the day my mother died, I clearly remember saying to my brother, “Regardless of what happens tomorrow, our world will never be the same.” And on that day I resolved to do more, risk more, and act quicker. Fifteen years later when my father died, I doubled my resolve, and have maintained that resolve ever since.

REALITY: The older you get, the smarter your parents become. If yours are still alive, call them today, and thank them for their wisdom.

What days or holidays create resolve for you? It may be New Year’s Day, a day of life, or a day of death. What emotional spirit can you identify, capture, and harness in order to make a quantum leap and land safely, either in a pile of money, a warm pool of success, or on an island lying back on the beach of fulfillment.

Make your list (check it twice). Take about an hour to think of the most emotional days of your year and what thoughts, expressions, and actions you take as a result of that day. Some of those emotions are so powerful it may cause you to take more than an hour, and may even cause you to cry. The success key is for you to document them.

Document and memorialize these emotional moments and days in a way that you can call up their power every day. Maybe it’s a picture of your mom or dad on your desk as a reminder, maybe it’s a short list that you put on your calendar every day, maybe it’s Post-It notes on your bathroom mirror, maybe it’s establishing a mastermind group that meets weekly for breakfast, or maybe it’s just alone time for you to write and clarify your thinking, your intentions, and your proposed deeds.

And then take action with the same determination you had on New Years or your Mom’s birthday.

Whatever it is you decide to do with this concept, I challenge you to do it soon. February 1st is coming and you may not realize it’s as big a day to celebrate and take action as January 1st.

Blueberries Reverse Rodents' Brain Decline Together with prior human tests, rat test suggests a role for all berries in slowing age-related mental slides by Craig Weatherby Early in 2010, research teams from the U.S. and the UK published positive results from the first-ever controlled clinical trials to test the effects of blueberries on brain function in older adults. In both trials, people who drank blueberry juice or smoothies showed significant improvements in learning and memory, compared with the control groups. The American researchers also detected a statistical trend towards fewer signs of depression, and lower blood sugar (glucose) levels, among the test group. For more on these two trials, see “Blueberries Score in Two Brain-Health Trials”. These findings have been bolstered by a new study in rats, conducted by scientists from University of Houston and the Tufts University/USDA Human Nutrition Research Center on Aging. Blueberries reverse mental decline in aging animals function (Malin DH et al. 2010). Rats are ideal for such studies because they age so much more rapidly than humans, allowing researchers to see changes in mere months rather than years or decades. This study follows one by the same team, which found brain benefits in aging rats fed a blueberry-enriched diet for four months (Goyarzu P et al. 2004). Elderly rats fed a blueberry-enriched diet for one month showed improvements in memory, as measured in a maze test. Better yet, eating a blueberry-enriched diet for two months prolonged the benefits after the diet was stopped … and the mental performance of the aging rats improved even more, to the higher level seen in younger rats. As the researchers wrote, “This illustrates a surprisingly prompt and powerful effect ... [of blueberry-enriched diets].” (Malin DH et al. 2010) They called attention to some promising implications for people: “First, the present results suggest that even a relatively brief blueberry diet might produce measurable benefits.” “Second, the benefits of several months of the diet might be maintained for a considerable period after the diet is interrupted.” “Third, blueberry supplementation might possibly reverse some degree of memory impairment that has already developed.” And they raised the question that will occur to many readers: “This raises the possibility that this sort of nutritional intervention might still be beneficial even after certain memory deficiencies have become evident.” (Malin DH et al. 2010) We encourage researchers to test this hope in human clinical trials, sooner rather than later. How could berries help deter dementia? Human diets rich in blueberries have previously been linked to a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s, and the berries’ benefits are believed to flow from their polyphenol content … in particular, two kinds found in most berries, called anthocyanins and flavanols. We still don’t know how anthocyanins and flavanols might enhance memory and other brain functions … but in rats, they’re proven to cross the blood-brain barrier and reach areas associated with cognitive performance (Andres-Lacueva C et al. 2005). As the Houston-Boston team noted, prior studies suggest that berry-borne anthocyanins and flavanols may enhance existing neuronal connections (i.e., links among brain cells), improve cell-to-cell communications, and stimulate growth of brain cells. We also know that berry-borne polyphenols exert “nutrigenomic” effects on cellular genetic switches called nuclear transcription factors, such as Nf-kappaB (Goyarzu P et al. 2004). Specifically, they exert damping effects on Nf-kappaB and other pro-inflammatory genetic switches, and may thereby discourage the chronic low-level inflammation associated with Alzheimer’s and other degenerative diseases.

"The older I get, the more I see a straight path where I want to go. If you're going to hunt elephants, don't get off the trail for a rabbit."

T. Boone Pickens

Three Keys to Maximizing Goal Performance
By Bob Cox

Another Saturday night, and the office is quiet. My staff is home with their families, out at the movies, gone bowling or partying... and yours truly is working diligently at his desk.

I started as a weeknight working warrior and would happily work until 8:00 or 9:00 p.m. after everyone else had left the office. Then I became a weekend working warrior. Finally, I became a weekend night working warrior.

What is wrong with this picture?

I took great satisfaction in what I was doing, knowing I was working hard on my version of the American dream. Years passed until -- far too late -- I had a revelation.

I realized that I filled my daily calendar with meetings and appointments -- and I consistently underestimated the amount of time each would take. Therefore, I ended up working long hours that were not always productive.

To be honest, this made me tired and cranky. And it negatively impacted my long-term goals. It also cost me money and opportunities to spend time with my family and friends. The end result was that my life did not have balance.

I had more ideas and dreams than time to achieve them and still maintain balance in my life. I was trying to accomplish all my goals at once.

Fortunately, over the years, I have learned to modify my "everything at once" approach.

I have learned to become more realistic about the amount of time I have available and how long each task specific to my goals takes to complete. Then I step back for a moment, view what is before me, and resolve to focus on one task at a time.

Recognize Your Limits

You are only one person, with a limited amount of time, energy, and mental sharpness at your disposal. So you need to make sure you're not taking on too much. This may mean limiting the number of goals you work on in 2011 -- ideally to one in each major category: health, wealth, personal relationships, and personal growth/development.

After speaking with hundreds of members of ETR's Total Success Achievement program over the past several years, I've discovered many of them are overachievers. (Sound familiar?) They all have big ideas and more goals than can realistically be completed in one year.

Having too many goals means that you are trying to divide your time, energy, and resources into too many pieces. If you have only five hours a day to devote to your goals, and you have 10 different goals to accomplish, you run the risk of making little progress... or not accomplishing any of them at all.

Three Keys to Maximizing Goal Performance

There are three important success techniques you can learn to use to make sure you always work your level best and avoid taking on too much at once.

1. Be realistic in setting target dates for accomplishing your goals.

Total Success Achievement member Laura from Missouri understood she was setting herself up for disappointment by scheduling exactly WHEN her goals were to be completed. So she CHANGED her mindset to setting target dates. This relaxed her anxiety while increasing her enthusiasm.

Example: Plan for Health Goal (to lose 10 lbs). On January 1, my weight is 140 lbs. My target date is March 30 to lose 10 lbs. Here's how I'll do it:

• By January 15, I want to be at a weight of 137 lbs.
• By January 30, I want to be at a weight of 136 lbs.

• By February 15, I want to be at a weight of 134 lbs.
• By February 30, I want to be at a weight of 133 lbs.

• By March 15, I want to be at a weight of 131 lbs.
• By March 30, I want to be at a weight of 130 lbs.

Her plan is realistic, manageable, and breaks down beautifully and simply. See how she sets it up to lose four pounds the first month and three pounds each of the next two months?

She is ready to maximize her goal performance by simply implementing a realistic plan for success.

2. Keep a flexible mindset.

Your goals will evolve as the year progresses. Your goals may be expanded or they may need to be modified to fit your daily and weekly schedule.

And at times you might feel like you're taking two steps forward and one step back. You will have breakthroughs, triumphs, and opportunities to overcome adversity.

But no matter how the process is going, keep a flexible mindset! You may find, for example, that it isn't possible to write 100 pages of your novel each month. So you make an adjustment and aim for 50 pages a month. This by no means makes you a failure. It is part of the learning process that will help you achieve your present and future goals the best way you can.

3. Don't be afraid to ask for ideas and help.

Part of the goal-achieving process is learning to trust yourself to find solutions to obstacles along your path. But you should never feel like you're alone in this.

You can always ask friends, family members, and coworkers to give you advice, suggestions, and support. Other people are a great resource for compassion, guidance, and applause.

Whenever I find my goals stalled, I put my ego aside and ask myself, "Who can I ask for assistance?"

You will be surprised by how willing to help other people can be!

The main point I want to make today: You already have an appetite for success. You just have to be careful to avoid the tendency to pile too much on your plate.

Ellen Malloy: Predictions for 2011 Posted by Ann D. at 12/27/2010 9:57 AM CST on Chicago Business

By Ellen Malloy

Isn't it required for all bloggers to make predictions for the new year? Here are mine, in no particular order, and while they may seem random, they represent what is top-of-mind for me right now.

Year of the personal brand.
2010 seemed, to some, to be the year of the personal brand, marked by the rise of Twitter and, when it wasn't failing, Tumblr. But microblogging just introduced the masses to the possibilities. Now, a few will start to apply strategy to building their social profiles, becoming more sophisticated in using content to build a community.

Celebrity chef cookbooks will officially die. Thank God.
I remember nearly crying last year when I received a preview copy of a cookbook penned by a chef I admire. In truth, in this age of authenticity, celebrity chef cookbooks turn even the most engaging of chefs into milquetoast. Grant Achatz to the rescue, shifting the focus from has-been recipes to engaging stories and anecdotes. 2011 will mark the shift away from chef cookbooks and to chef memoirs.

Independent restaurants will learn to embrace mobile.
Restaurant audiences are local, and what is more local than a geo-location capable mobile phone? Yelp kicked off 2010 with some awesome updates to its iPhone app, integrating many local-social features. OpenTable.com also made some significant contributions with its mobile platform, hitting on search but missing in social.

Game mechanics will be embraced for the potential they bring business.
Foursquare may seem like a ridiculous waste of time to some, but in reality the potential for game mechanics to drive marketing is a new frontier with seemingly infinite possibilities. Airline miles are, at their core, game systems with which we are all familiar. And while airline miles are largely lame and frustrating games, we all play. In 2011, creative application of game systems to marketing strategies will begin to gain traction.

Foodies will begin to figure out how to share quality, sustainable food with food deserts
The backlash against sustainability acolytes, branded as elitists, and even racists, will gain steam in 2011, pushing the committed to find answers to how they can bring sustainable, fresh food to the underclass. Expect to see:

• Sustainability-minded food trucks traveling to food deserts
• Chefs bringing more wholesome recipes and knowledge to underprivileged schools
• More farmer's markets and urban farming initiatives in food insecure areas
• Finally, hopefully, upscale farmers markets will begin creating scholarship programs for Link card users, thus truly serving a diverse audience.

Discount fatigue will set in.
It could be that businesses will begin to see that giving away the store doesn't make for a strong bottom line, or that customers will return to making buying decisions based on real need rather than discount availability. Or maybe it will just be a deflationary economy kicking us all in the ass. Any way you slice it, mass discounting days are numbered.

PR will continue its slow spiral into death.
Journalists hate it, clients are frustrated by it. PR is, for all intents and purposes, a broken business model. Brave souls will start to cut the cord, learning that there is life after PR.

Content marketing will take its place.
Companies will begin to realize that building a community is the most secure way to build a sustainable future. And content marketing is how that is done. In restaurant marketing, my area, smart restaurateurs will hire underemployed freelance journalists to pen blog posts, share social stories and report on their in-house events as part of content marketing programs.

Journalism will start to shine again.
In 2010, journalism continued to flail about as plenty of important news was broken by everyone but the journalists — whether on a small scale, like the Chicago Michelin scoop on Yelp or in world-changing events, as seen with Wikileaks. In 2011, great journalists will come to terms with the fact that battling for scoops in a world filled with smartphones is a losing proposition. Expect a return to true reporting — digging into a story and discovering the perspective. This, of course, is precisely what will push journalism into a new golden age.

Donuts will replace cupcakes. Oatmeal cookies will replace macaroons. Cocktailians will be the new farmers who were the new celebrity chefs. There will be a serious injury on "Iron Chef" or "Top Chef" that the show will actually televise. Foraging will rise to farmer's markets status in foodie circles — Know Your Forest, Know Your Food. Pop-ups and food trucks will proliferate as scrappy young chefs discover a less capital-intensive way to enter business.

"...we have to find our heart songs all by ourselves. It's
the voice you hear inside. Who you truly are."
~ Little Penguin, "Happy Feet" movie

The Movie of YOUR Life
By MaryEllen Tribby

Do you know what you want to do with your life?

Really know?

Do you want to start your own business? Ready to join the ranks of famous entrepreneurs? Entrepreneurs, who set their own hours, make the amount of money they desire, and spend more time with their family. Entrepreneurs who make their dreams and their vision come true on every level.

Many times these dreams go beyond what most people think. These dreams include philanthropic endeavors - such as starting and running a foundation for childhood cancer or AIDS.

As a matter of fact, most of the SUCCESSFUL entrepreneurs I know have started or contributed to a major philanthropic organization simply because they can.

You see, once your business is up and running, and you are living the life you desire; the good you can spread is endless.

But how do you get there?

That's the million-dollar question.

Today I am going to take you through an exercise that does just that - teaches you how to get there. It allows you to see your life exactly how you want it to be today and in the future. Not only is this exercise effective, it is fun, as well.

Part I: Time-outs Aren't Just for Kids!

Step 1) Give Yourself a Time-out: That's right -- everyday for the next week find a spot where you can hide out from the phone, email, the kids, the staff, even your spouse. Take 10 minutes of completely uninterrupted time. Now close your eyes and just breathe. This time will rejuvenate you and provide the clarity you need.

Step 2) Get Your Brag On: As a working mom, it's so easy to appreciate and take pleasure in the accomplishments of your children, your husband, your friends and colleagues. However, we tend to overlook or sweep aside our own accomplishments. So during this "time-out," think of the compliments you have been given lately.

Instead of dismissing or trivializing them - let them sink in. Acknowledge your worthy and extraordinary qualities. It's important to remember the reasons you are starting or growing a business, to reflect on the rewards of entrepreneurship and your ability to contribute to that business. Give yourself credit for the impact you make on your family, your community and to the world.

Step 3) Your Mental Pick Me-up: Later that same day, escape for time-out #2. It could be before you leave the office or, if you work out of your home, before the kids come home from school. You could even schedule your second time-out in the evening when the kids are in bed. But you must give yourself quiet space for 15 minutes and do the following:

• Get your journal and recall the first day you made the decision to start your business. If you are just making the decision to do so, note that as well.
• Write down what you considered to be your first achievement. For example, setting up your website, meeting with your mentor, writing a business plan, or doing competitive research.
• Write down EVERY achievement you can recall since then.
• Re-read them and underline those you feel had the greatest impact.
• Remind yourself: I am building this business because . . .

It is important to realize what you have accomplished. After one week of doing this, share your findings with a colleague, mentor, friend or spouse (because often we are much too hard on ourselves). They will be able to give you an honest perspective and help you realize you are ready for part II.

Part II: You Are The Star

Now, imagine sitting in your favorite seat in your favorite movie theater -- not with just your entire family -- but with a theater filled with all the people who are most important to you. Not just important people in your personal life, but in your business life as well. Everyone who has ever impacted your life in one-way or another is there in that theater because . . .

Tonight is the premiere of "The Movie of Your Life".

You are the star and the movie begins at your current age and your current status, which means you need to show the audience how you reached all of your goals. You will share how you made your dreams come true.

Remember you are not just the star of the film -- you are the director as well. As the director - you're in control of your movie. This means you have the power to cut out any perceived reasons for not being able to achieve your goals and dreams.

And, as director, you also can eliminate all the negative chatter in your head - that little voice that says "I can't" is completely eliminated from "The Movie of Your Life."

Now fill in the table below:

The easiest way to start is to answer the first two questions and then move to the last "How does the movie end?" After you completed those three questions fill in everything in-between.

By answering these questions, you are in essence shaping the vision for your life. Once you have invested enough effort to have a clear vision of what your desired life looks like, your own internal investor will be convinced that you are worthy enough to move from formulated fantasy to inspired reality.

Me, I usually cast Meg Ryan to play my character and Andy Garcia to play my hubby. Please share as much as you want with the Working Moms Only community right here. After all it doesn't have to be the entire table. But tell us the name of your movie and who plays you. Come on - we have all played that game with our best girlfriend.

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."
~ James Dean

Finding Your True Calling
By Brian Tracy

The very worst use of time in life is to stay at a job for months and years for which you are completely unsuited. There are a great number of people who spend their whole lives doing something during the week so that they can somehow find something enjoyable to do on the weekends.

In every case, these are men and women with very little future before them. They look upon their jobs as a form of drudgery, a penance they have to pay in order to enjoy the rest of their lives. And because of this attitude, they will seldom advance or be promoted. They will stay pretty much at the level they are, moving from job to job, and always wondering why other people seem to be living the good life while they feel like they are living lives of quiet desperation.

People who are not successful and happy in their work are those who have not taken the time to sit down and deal honestly and openly with themselves. They have not looked deep within themselves to find the inner treasures of talent and ability that they have demonstrated throughout their lives. They are content to do work that other people design and to achieve goals that other people have set.

Over time, people who are not following their true callings begin to feel helpless. They feel that there is nothing they can do to change things. Their income only rises enough to meet their expenditures, and they worry about money all the time. The future looks to them to be very much the same as the past. But this is not for you. Your aim in life is to become everything you are capable of becoming, to enjoy full self- expression of your talents and abilities.

Your job is to develop yourself to the point where every day is a source of joy and satisfaction, and you have so many interesting things to do that you do not have enough time to do them. Your job is to continually hold up a mirror to yourself and refuse to work at anything that is not an expression of everything that is good and capable within you.

Success comes from being excellent at what you do. The market only pays excellent rewards for excellent performance. It pays average rewards for average performance and below-average rewards...and insecurity...for below-average performance.

But excellence is a journey, not a destination. You never really get there. You can never relax. The market is always changing and what constitutes excellence today will be different tomorrow and very different next year and the year after.

All really successful and happy people know in their hearts that they are very good at what they do. If you are doing what you really love and enjoy, if you are following your true calling, you will know because of your attitude toward excellence.

When you have found your true calling, nothing but the best will do for you. You will go any distance, pay any price, and overcome any obstacle to develop yourself to the point where you are really good at your occupation.

When you find your true calling, you will have a continuous desire to learn more about it. People who are not driven to learn more about their fields are people who are in the wrong jobs. And if a person is in the wrong job and not constantly learning and growing in their field, their value and their employability is diminishing with each passing day.

When you find your true calling, you will be determined to join the top 10 percent of people in your field. You will be willing to pay any price that is necessary to rise to the top. You will be willing to start a little earlier, work a little harder, and stay a little later. You will take additional courses in the evenings and on weekends.

You will see technology as an opportunity to do your job better. You will be interested in the various learning programs that you can install on your computer that can help you learn better and faster. You will be hungry for new knowledge in your quest to move upward in your chosen field.

A simple test as to whether or not you are in your true calling is this: If you are doing the job that is meant for you, that uses your unique talents and abilities, you will automatically admire those who are at the top of your field. You will look up to them and want to be like them. They will be your role models and you will pattern your work and activities after them. You will want to meet them, talk to them, read their books, and listen to their talks. The very best people in your chosen field will become the examples that give you guidance, both spoken and unspoken, on your upward journey.

Throughout the years, I have been continually asked by people what they can do to be more successful. In almost every case, they are working in jobs that they don't like, for bosses they don't particularly respect, producing or selling products or services to customers they don't care about. And many of them think that if they just hang in there long enough, the clouds will part and everything will get better.

But the fact is that you are where you are and who you are because you have chosen to be there. Nobody can help you or change your situation for you. The economic goal of your company is to hire people at the very lowest cost so that they can serve customers at the very lowest cost in a competitive market. For this reason, no one has any obligation to pay you any more than you are getting. If possible, they would like to pay you less.

The one thing I tell people over and over again is that they must become very good at doing what they are doing if they want to move up. And if they don't have the inner desire to be very good at their jobs, it means they are probably in the wrong jobs.

The great tragedy is the number of people who do their job in an average or mediocre fashion with the idea that, when the right job comes along, they will really put their heads down and do a good job. But for some reason, the right job never comes along. They are always passed over for promotion and advancement. They are always the last ones hired and the first ones laid off.

If you're still not sure about your true calling, ask the people the closest to you. Ask them, "What do you think I would be the very best at doing with my life?" It is absolutely amazing how people around you, including your spouse, your best friends, and your parents can see clearly what you should be doing when often you cannot see it yourself.

Remember, you are put on this earth to do something wonderful with your life. You have within your talents and abilities so vast that you could never use them all if you lived to be a thousand. You have the natural skills and talents that can enable you to overcome any obstacle and achieve any goal you could ever set for yourself. There are no limits on what you can be, have, or do if you can find your true calling, and then throw your whole heart into doing what you are made to do in an excellent fashion.

PBW Fitness & Training: Exercise tube for the Upper Body Vol 1

"Even if you have the empathy and the passion and you address the customer's problem, you haven't really given good customer service in total. You haven't done that until you have eliminated the problem that caused her to call in the first place."

Charles Fishman

How to Cut Down on Product Returns and Refunds
By Bob Bly

It's every Internet marketer's dirty little secret:

We hate product returns and refund requests!

As my colleague FG puts it: "I hate seeing the UPS man coming the wrong way!"

It's not so much the money, although we don't enjoy giving money back.

It's that we take the rejection of our information products personally, as a rejection of us and our work.

Every time a book is returned to one of the largest mail-order book publishers, the CEO complains: "Why are they returning this? It's a GREAT book!"

But a product can be great and still be returned for refund for a variety of reasons:

1. The product does not present the content the buyer expected.

Every once in a while, for example, someone returns my copywriting course because they were really looking for instructions on copyrighting, not copywriting.

2. The product is in the wrong medium for the customer.

Though clearly stated that my written info products are e-books, people will order and then complain that they got an e-book instead of a printed book.

3. The product is too basic.

The buyer may listen to, watch, or read your info product, only to discover that he already knows everything in it. In that case, he may legitimately want to return it for a refund.

4. The product is too advanced.

Some of your information products may be beyond some buyers' understanding because the material is advanced and the customer is a beginner. This is another case where he may legitimately want to return it for a refund.

5. The product is worth the purchase price -- but no more than that.

Believe it or not, I've had products returned with notes that said, "This product is worth the price you charge, but not more than that." And yet, the buyer was dissatisfied enough to return it for refund!

The truth is that in today's business world, it's not enough to give the customer her money's worth. You have to give her MORE than her money's worth.

6. The customer decides not to pursue the course of action laid out by the product.

Most how-to information products help people reach a certain goal -- e.g., to start a new career or get involved in a new hobby.

After reviewing your info product, some buyers may decide that the career or hobby (or whatever) is simply not for them, for any number of reasons. In such a case, they will almost surely want to return the info product for a refund.

7. You sell an inferior product.

The sad truth is that a lot of self-published information products produced by independent entrepreneurs are of questionable quality.

A book published by a mainstream publishing house is edited by a professional editor. But many e-books are not edited at all.

If your information is sketchy, difficult to understand, or technically inaccurate... or your instructions are unclear or hard to follow... expect lots of returns and refund requests.

As a rule of thumb, your refund rate should be less than 10% and ideally less than 5%. These numbers tend to increase in a shaky economy, such as the one we're suffering through now.

Okay. So now that you know the reasons for product returns, here are some actions you can take to reduce your refund rates:

• Describe the product accurately on your sales page. When the sales copy correctly describes the product, customers are more satisfied when they receive it.

• Highlight and clarify information on your sales page that commonly confuses customers. For example, I find I get fewer refund requests if I repeat several times the fact that my written info products are e-books and not printed books.

• Update your information products frequently -- at least once a year. If the customer sees a 2005 copyright date in 2011, he'll automatically assume that your product is out of date, even if it is not.

• Control the hype. All sales copy has hype to some degree. But customers will be disappointed if you over-promise and under-deliver. It's far better to under-promise and over-deliver.

• Make sure every information product you create is worth at least 10 times the price you charge for it.

• Don't just tell the customer how to do something, motivate him to do it -- and the perfect place to do that is in the introduction to your info product. You want him to believe he can accomplish what your product teaches. And you want him to be eager to learn it.

Five Tips for Winning Loyalty on the Sales Floor

By: Roger L. Brooks

While all companies may not find formal loyalty strategies as a good fit, the basic principles of loyalty can still be applied in virtually any business. Loyalty programs are based on the concept of stellar service, and by gathering data that better helps the service provider or retailer understand the demands and needs of customers, in order to deliver products or services to answer to those requirements. As a salesperson, there are many fundamental strategies you can adopt from successful loyalty programs which can assist you in your day-to-day efforts.

Here are FIVE tips for building loyalty through your existing sales initiatives:

1. Combine your on-the-ground intelligence with your in-house data. Your spreadsheets may reveal how much product your client uses, but only a sales person knows that your client’s daughter is getting married, or that he is an avid golfer. Build a universal spreadsheet or software program where personal data and inside information can be incorporated with service data.

2. Develop an incentive strategy that motivates customer behavior. Your customers do not have to sign up for a structured loyalty plan for the structure to still be there internally. Surprise clients with rewards for reaching certain business milestones (based on the quantity of cases of ink purchased, life insurance policies signed, etc.).

3. Offer everyday perks to outshine your competition. For example, JetBlue offers satellite TV for every customer, in every seat, and on every flight. The staff is always friendly, the planes are clean and there is more legroom on JetBlue versus other airlines.

4. Find ways to communicate that you care. It is one thing to know what your clients need; it is another to understand why. Ensure they will get what they need because you “get” them. Use Google alerts to track them in the news. Remember that their success is your success – send notes of good luck or congratulations where they apply. Taking notice of small details will go a long way.

5. Use loyalty as an equalizer. Whether your company has the scale of a national player or not, assure your clients that you will always answer the phone, and they will never get lost in the shuffle. Be sure to practice what you preach!

I recently purchased a new car. The salesman, Mike, has a dynamic personality and made me feel at ease from the moment we met. Once we put a handshake on the deal, I was able to informally interview him. After learning that he was an entrepreneur, previously owning and operating several hair salons in the Philadelphia area, he proceeded to tell me about how he learned about customer loyalty. He said he learned the hard way by getting his teeth kicked in, mainly by his employees. One day he woke up and his stylist chairs were nearly empty—his disciples were walking away. What did Mike do? He went back to school to learn how to be a better manager, and a better person. About five years ago, he decided to change careers, and brought his life-lessons with him to the auto industry.

I told Mike how impressed I was with his sales technique, and asked him his secret to success. He responded saying he never makes assumptions about people. He also said his father taught him to continually make deposits, not withdrawals into the emotional banks of others. He said, "Deposits are engaging, while withdrawals are draining." I like Mike’s style.

What kind of friend are you? by: Noah Rickun I have many friends. Call them what you like – friends, acquaintances, colleagues, partners, allies, vendors, customers, confidants, teammates – I aim to build close relationships with everyone I know. It makes doing business fun and it makes living worthwhile. Oddly enough, earning the friendship and the trust of all those I deal with has contributed more to my success than perhaps anything else. It took my kids to point that out to me. My daughters and I read stories to each other every night before bed (and sometimes, when I'm on the road, we read via Skype). Recently we stumbled upon an insightful book called A Bargain for Frances, by Russell Hoban and Lillian Hoban. It's a classic sales book in disguise. Frances's friend Thelma is a conniving and shrewd businesswoman (yes, I know she's only five years old) who is masterful at creating demand and uncovering buying motives. Thelma takes advantage of Frances by selling a used tea set for far more than it is worth by misrepresentation. When Frances realizes what has happened, she devises a plan to undo the transaction and succeeds (although somewhat mischievously). Thelma quickly understands that Frances has gotten even and remarks, "From now on I will have to be careful when I play with you." "Being careful is not as much fun as being friends," says Frances. "Do you want to be careful, or do you want to be friends?" Whoa. That question hit me hard. Real business, real growth, real partnerships, real relationships, and real friendships can only occur where trust exists and the necessity to "be careful" is absent. I began to look at the people in my life and ask myself whether I am "careful" or "friends" with them. I discovered that I am both, but that the people I truly appreciate, trust, and wholeheartedly devote myself to helping give me an unspoken and unconscious feeling of safety. I wonder if you make your friends and customers feel safe. I have a very close friend that has never been "careful" with me. This friend is part advisor, part confidant, part teammate, part opponent, part advocate, and all appreciated. Not having to be "careful" has resulted in higher quality output, higher revenues, and an abundance of enjoyable interactions (and transactions!). Here are some of the qualities of a true business friend: Willing to help. Sometimes it's advice; sometimes it's grunt work. Either way, friends lend a hand without hesitation. Willing to argue. A friend knows when you need to be challenged and does not need to worry about hurting your feelings. Willing to use tough love. Sometimes saying "no" is the best and the right thing to do for a friend. Willing to defend. When you come under scrutiny, a friend always has your back. Willing to criticize. A friend understands that criticizing your ideas or your work is not the same as criticizing you. Willing to compliment. A friend does not have to be "careful" about giving you the upper hand or advantage by telling you when you do well. Willing to believe. A friend accepts your claims and promises without waffling. Willing to refer. A friend does not consider referring you to others a risk and provide testimony for your claims. Willing to defer. A friend knows when you are best suited, most qualified, and apt to make the right decision. Your advice counts. Willing to invest. Time, money, sweat, energy. But mostly time. Willing to give. A friend gives without expectation. No keeping tabs. Willing to take. A friend receives without psychic debt. Gratefulness without the "I owe you one." There are many more qualities of a friend, but children's books have taught me another lesson – fewer words and fewer pages do not mean less impact. In fact, this time it was quite the opposite. Thank you, Frances.

The slow death of a salesman. How alive are you? Sales Moves

By Jeffrey Gitomer “Slate” magazine published an article by James Ledbetter about the ever-increasing number of disappearing salespeople. The headline read, “Death of a salesman. Of lots of them, actually. The troubling disappearance of salesmen and how it helps explain America's economic woes.” Ledbetter claims thousands of salespeople have lost their jobs to the Internet. And he is correct. He left out one word when describing these salespeople: retail. The B2C sales marketplace is trending undeniably to the Internet. Black Friday now has a competitor: Cyber Monday. And Cyber Monday is winning the race. People buy online for the convenience, the price and the availability. People buy online to avoid the hassle of driving to the store only to discover the item they wanted is out of stock and the further hassle of having to deal with a salesperson, or clerk. Books, music, electronics, appliances, shoes, clothing, medical supplies, prescriptions, furniture, and gifts of every type and description, from companies all over the world, are being bought online by the millions – without salespeople. People like you are buying more and more online. And that means fewer retail sales jobs. But does that really impact the economy? No. I wonder if the editor of “Slate” that wrote the article has ever had a sales job. He’s definitely clever at creating titles and building a case for empty scenarios. The bottom line is that overall sales are increasing, therefore the economy is the same, or better, with or without the retail salesperson that’s being displaced. Another word for that might be “progress.” There are other salespeople on the list of diminishing numbers: automobile salespeople who are being challenged by 100 years of duping customers, and the customer has finally had enough of them; pharmaceutical salespeople who are being legislated out of business for the lack of ability to build relationships with customers; and insurance salespeople, especially for lower-priced and commonly purchased policies – automobile being the best example. Many companies now have both retail brick-and-mortar stores and online businesses. Ask any of their CEOs which they would rather have, and I guarantee you they would all say online. The online retailer can sell cheaper because overhead is lower, and warehouse rent and warehouse employees are much less costly than retail space and retail salespeople. It’s not necessarily bad news. It’s just news – and news salespeople better pay attention to. The economy is not being bludgeoned by a lack of salespeople. One only has to look to our glorious government to see who the real economic culprits are. Now is the time for salespeople to study the marketplace, make an assessment of where they feel their best long-term opportunities lie, combine those opportunities with selecting something they are passionate about or would love to do, and dig in. Sales jobs will grow wherever the economy dictates they grow. Health care is going to grow because the society is aging. Start there. Technology will expand and create tons of sales jobs. Take a look there. And the Internet will create all kinds of jobs, especially sales jobs, based on its undeniable growth. The people who lost their jobs selling clothing should consider selling ad words for Google. Google is not a company; it’s a society and a culture. Mr. Ledbetter concentrates his article on the retail sector, failing to address the larger, B2B sector. It’s true some jobs will go away, but 10 times as many will be created in their wake. Online business is both a revolution and an evolution. It’s not a job killer; it’s a job creator. And it allows consumers to click and buy without spending $3 a gallon on gasoline, or looking for a parking space that doesn’t exist during the holiday season. And yes, there are the traditionalists, the people who love to go retail shopping in the store, the people who would rather buy a hardbound book than an e-book, and the people who like to touch things before they buy them. But they are getting older. People under the age of 20 only know the Internet as their prime source of communication, purchase and download. Get used to it, get over it, understand the sales opportunity that it creates and take advantage of it. If you don’t, society will take advantage of you.

Be a Relationship Master
Success = the people you meet + what you do with them

By: Keith Ferrazzi

Relationships, networks and collaboration are the defining elements of the next era of business leadership. You can’t do big things anymore – as a company, as a team, as an individual – if you’re stuck doing them alone.

Here's the stark reality of sales in the age of networks:

1) Research confirms the most critical single factor to business success - from productivity and innovation to sales and leadership - is relationships. Your network.

2) Most individuals and organizations lack the number, quality and level of relationships to achieve peak performance and accomplish their goals.

3) With the right mindset, process, skills and best practices, individuals and organizations can dramatically improve the productivity and speed at which they build business relationships and achieve critical business outcomes.

Will you become a sales leader or an afterthought? The research tells us the answer is etched in the contours of your network.

Researchers at Booz Allen Hamilton and Northwestern University’s Kellogg School, in a study of Fortune 1000 companies, found that the most successful and winning companies, the top 25%, all define and deploy relationships in a consistent, specific manner. In short, the most financially successful organizations are relationship focused. That’s their differentiator. And it's no different for people.

The one commonality among the top 1% of sales earners is the size of their networks. People with the most social capital:

• Close deals faster
• Are more productive
• Receive larger bonuses
• Receive higher performance evaluations

We've even begun to attribute real monetary value to our network. In a recent study conducted by IBM, researchers found that the average email contact was "worth" $948 in revenue. To arrive at that number, the researchers dove into the address books and emails of 1600 IBM consultants and compared their networks and communication patterns with the consultants' performance in terms of revenue generated.

In other words, that person with 100 more Linked-In contacts than you is probably also generating $100,000 more in revenue per year.

So here's the million dollar question: You have a budget and finance plan. You have a strategic plan. You have plan for just about everything. But where's you people plan?

That's basically the question that for almost 10 years has driven my consulting business with CEOs and some of the top sales teams in the Fortune 500: Who are the 250 people most critical to your success in the next year? You don't know? If you agree nothing is more critical to your success, why aren’t you applying the same process, rigor, discipline, training and focus to relationships that you apply to, say, finance?

There are people in every field, from artists and scientists to serial entrepreneurs and fortune 500 CEOs, who use the same set of mindsets, process, and skills to work smarter, not harder, to create networks that help them accomplish far more than the rest of us. We've come to call these people Relationship Masters.

They will be the people to dominate the business world in the next 100 years. Our research shows there are three main areas of Relationship Mastery:

1) Mindsets: Generosity, Candor, Accountability, and Intimacy. Learn to use them and you'll increase your social effectiveness - your ability to understand, control, and influence social interactions.

2) Skills: The tools, tactics, and methods we use to transform our social effectiveness into social capital: the value - all the trust, information, and resources - in your network.

3) Process: We call it Relationship Action Planning; a system to consistently and purposefully manage your social capital to create networks that gets things done.

"The most important thing in communication is
hearing what isn't said."
Peter F. Drucker

A Direct Correlation Between Boogers and Business
By MaryEllen Tribby

"Delanie, this is not funny. I don't understand why you have that grin on your face," I said to my five-year-old daughter while reprimanding her for being the class clown.

Her response shocked me: "I'm sorry Mommy, it's just hard to take you seriously when you have boogers smeared all over your face."

I excused myself and hurried off to find the nearest mirror. Delanie was indeed right. Now I understood why she had difficulty taking our conversation seriously!

I quickly cleaned myself up, picked my dignity up off the floor, and went back to her room to finish my original conversation regarding her behavior in school.

As I entered the room - booger free and with a stern demeanor - the change in Delanie's disposition was instantaneous. She sat up straighter, her eyes grew wider, and the mischievous grin was gone. Before I could get a single word out she said, "I'm sorry Mommy, it won't happen again."

This is just one example of how your appearance can dictate the entire tone of a conversation.

And if a simple booger can affect a conversation with a five-year-old, just imagine how important your appearance is in business situations!

Why?

Because our success depends on our ability to communicate effectively.

Truth be told, writing isn't speaking and speaking isn't writing. So if your business relies on you speaking in either large or small group settings or making deals face-to-face, you'll want to listen up.

Written communication is linear, a single channel input. Written communication is much more effective than speaking for the exchange of facts, data, and details. You can read five times faster than a person can speak. With the written word, you can concentrate on, skim, or altogether ignore a certain section of material.

However, if your goal is to influence or persuade, to really get your point across, you have to say it with impact. You have to use action.

Speaking is a multi-channel surround sound action experience in which dozens of channels concurrently feed information to our brains.

And right or wrong, good or bad, the first thing people notice when watching you give a presentation or lead a meeting is how you look.

In fact, studies show that others are influenced most by how you look, then by how you sound, and lastly by what you say. The breakdown looks like this:

Just like the example above with Delanie, your message will not be heard if aspects of your appearance are distracting your audience. And let me be clear... When I say "appearance," I'm not just talking about having a freshly-ironed suit or nicely-styled hair. It encompasses so many more channels.

If you are planning on making some face-to-face business deals in 2011... Especially if you are banking on those deals to improve your business's bottom line... Be sure to go through my checklist below.

Top 7 Appearance Tips for Surefire Success in 2011

1) Posture: Never sit through a meeting all hunched over. And don't cross your arms once seated. Doing either of these things will make you look either sloppy or defensive. Instead, sit back in your seat with your arms and hands lying loosely on your lap.

2) Facial Expression: Lose any kind of frown or sad expression. Walk into all business situations with a smile on your face that says, "I am ready, willing, and able!"

3) Energy Level: Be sure to get a good night's sleep before an important meeting and eat a meal made up of foods that provide energy rather than drain it. For example, don't eat bagels or donuts before a big meeting. They will only set you up to crash later. Instead, have some protein and fruit.

4) Eye contact: Some people are just flat out uncomfortable making eye contact. If this is you - get over it. Practice with a colleague or friend. If you avoid it, you will find that people think you are hiding something... and your deal is likely to fall through the cracks.

5) Voice inflection and volume: Did you ever see the episode of Seinfeld with the "low talker"? It's one of my favorites. In a nutshell, Kramer's girlfriend talks so softly that Jerry agrees to a ridiculous request because he simply can't hear what she is saying. Funny on a television program. But in the real world, people will simply cut the meeting short and your big opportunity will be lost forever. So make sure you speak clearly and loudly enough for everyone around you to hear. And don't speak in a monotone voice. You'll want to convey confidence at all times and excitement when appropriate.

6) Gestures and other physical actions: There is nothing wrong with moving your hands when you speak. But do learn to keep them in the "zone." The "zone" is the width of your seat and the height of your torso. Anything outside of that range is just too big for a first-time business meeting, and it risks diverting the focus from your words to your gestures.

7) Dress: So many people stress out about what to wear for a business meeting. When in doubt, formal is better than casual for a first-time business meeting. You can never lose with a skirt, blouse, and jacket. If the person you are meeting with shows up in jeans, you can always remove the jacket. But if you are in jeans and the other person shows up in a suit, your options are limited.

Start your business out right for the New Year. By adhering to the checklist above, you will assure yourself that you are doing everything possible to make every business meeting count.

Holiday sounding-boards! Be certain to take advantage of them.

Most people surround themselves with some kind of family during the holiday season. If you are among the lucky ones, now is the perfect time to talk to them about your success plans for next year.

RULE ONE: You can talk about what happened last year, but only if you also include the lessons you’ve learned and the successes you’ve experienced.

Positive talk and lessons learned induce others to talk about their positive events and their lessons learned.

Many people struggled last year. You may be among them. Or your relatives may be among them. And as your conversation (story telling) evolves, you have choices. I recommend that you choose to not lament what didn’t happen and focus on what DID happen.

Once you get into the groove of talking out last year, and somehow recalling the good (finding the pony inside a barn of horse manure), it will give you an opportunity to begin to talk about and clarify what you intend to do next year.

When you talk about what you intend to do next year, it will begin to clarify it in your own mind. Hearing yourself say the things that you’ve been thinking about will affirm and strengthen your belief, the validity of your goals and your ideas, and increase your own determination to achieve. All from saying aloud that which you’ve been thinking.

But there’s a bonus. By talking your plans out loud, you’re indirectly soliciting two things: Positive feedback, and the support of others. Your family is who you love. Maybe not all of them. But certainly the select few. Those are the ones who can give you the most support and encouragement to help you achieve your next year’s goals.

As you begin talking, I recommend you keep your laptop close by, so that as you clarify your thinking, your ideas, your goals, and your intentions you can document them. A simple word file will do. Something you can expand on as you begin to write them down.

PERSONAL NOTE: Every time I have ever talked out, or talked out loud, my ideas and my goals I have always rushed to document them and have, more often than not, achieved them as a result of that action.

When you start out on the first of the year to achieve your goals and dreams, you have every intension of achieving them. Reality dictates that some (or many) won’t make it to the finish line.

Part of the reason people don’t achieve their goals is that they haven’t clarified them in their own mind before they begin the achievement process. Stating them aloud is an important part of this clarification process. You’re not simply telling others, you’re also telling yourself. As you’re speaking, you’re also thinking and expanding your own thoughts to where they make sense to everyone – including you. The more you talk about them, the more clear they become, the more actionable they become, and the deeper your belief in them grows.

Your family gathering is an important, emotional part of your growth. Seek out the people you respect the most. Talk to them as openly as possible. Brace yourself for their honest feedback, Make certain that you keep it positive. Make certain that you keep it truthful. Make certain that you keep it engaging. And as you’re looking for opinions and ideas, make certain that you also enlist their support. Tell them you’re counting on them. Tell them how grateful you are for their support and thank them in advance.

If you’re looking to have a GREAT next year, have a GREAT holiday season this year. Bring your goals and ideas, clarify them out loud, with those you love, and I promise you your verbal thoughts will become bank account realities.